I’m tired of fighting babe.
i really miss how everything use to be. how excited we would get, how much we missed each other and how everything about you was just so contagious. i miss how we use to love, how we use to look at each other and just never let go. I miss how you use to tell me you’d never leave, how i was the one and how you’d want to spend the rest of your life with me. i miss it all.
you once told me you were in love. that you would never give up on us, that you’d never walk away from adversity. where did that guy go. God knows how much i need him now.
I hate you.
I think you’re a piece of shit sometimes. And I hate that everything is always about your selfish ass. I hate you right now.
You’ve been a fucking cold hearted asshole tonight. I know that often when I call you names they’re unwarranted, but tonight you deserve them all.
I’m not a fucking mind reader. I had a really good night and I was really excited to share it with you, not realizing that 7 hrs prior when we said things were fine, they wernt. So I was unaware you spent over 7 hours being pissed then needing space. You’re a fucking horrible communicator and I’m glad you’re not angry more often. When I’m angry, and that accounts for roughly 85% of the times we fight, at least I’ll tell you exactly what I want and why I’m mad. But you… You’re the fucking worst. You’re a passive aggressive, difficult fuck. You don’t communicate, you don’t try and prevent an argument, you just except to sit there, treat people like shit and then have everything go your way. Sorry princess, life doesn’t work that way. The only way you’re going to get what to want is to speak the fuck up and communicate. And don’t fucking tell me your sorry and keep committing the same crime. When I’m angry, there’s always an end, when you’re angry, I can’t ever see the light at the end.
I’m so frustrated and I was telling the truth when I said I’d like to wake up and be hit by a car. Maybe that would teach you to leave loved ones with loving words. I told you before that mean to me is actions…and your actions tonight were disgusting. I’m not saying I was right today, but it’s interesting that you asked me if my mood justifies how I treat you…well I ask you the same. Do two wrongs make a right? Does taking an eye for an eye let everyone still see?
God when you’re difficult you are more selfish then anyone I’ve ever met. It’s frustrating. So goddamn fucking frustrating. But I still love you. Maybe I’m just a big fucking idiot.
Please stop being a moron otherwise you’ll lose what you love.
I’ve been saying this alot, but I miss taking pictures. I miss seeing all the still shots of life; reflecting on beauty forever frozen in time. I wish I had a lot more time.
More than anything, I really wish I had more pictures of us.
My body is exhausted but my brain keeps running and running.
I’m lying next to possibly one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever met. He’s fast asleep, spread out over half of the bed and looking peaceful. Looking at him so relaxed makes me envy how easily sleep must come to him. I lie awake memorizing every curve and nook of his body, not wanting to forget a single damn thing. I run my fingers across his skin, trying to be careful not to wake him. I listen to the traffic outside, the late night creatures of the city and of course the quiet sounds of his breathing. I roll over and hold him a little tighter, scared that if I don’t he’ll slip away into the night.
Am I really awake? Or is this all just a dream.